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If you suspect anyone of showing sympoms of the 'Necro- Mortosis' Virus, the Government has released the following anonymous tip line.
1 800 155 3219
City, AZ (AP)
These were the first things that local sheriffs deputies saw when they arrived at the scene this morning. Dispatched to search for Jason Eldrich (29) John Brooker (28) and Grant Selfride (54) missing since May 22nd, they found Eldrich's abandoned truck high in the desert area near Needles, Arizona. The engine was dead. It had ran until there was no more gas.
Eldrich and Brooker told friends how whilst quad biking one sunday they had found old caves deep in the wilderness. Caves long abandoned. But rumors were rife that they were inhabited by the undead. Childish stories, brushed off by the local community. But Eldrich always had a penchant for venture. He particularly relished the stories of 'Zombie hunters.' And so he set off with his best friend Brooker and neighbor Selfride. Together they ventured off into the desert on a 'zombie hunt.'
Crumpled papers with Bible verses and written reflections littered the floor on the passenger side. An autopsy of the body to be performed tomorrow is expected to yield few clues. Most of the body is missing.
Brooker's and Selfride's bodies have not been found. No significant animal prints have been discovered near Eldrich's truck, and most disturbing is the revelation by a sheriffs deputy that 'several unidentified human prints were found near the crime scene.' The adjacent cave was searched and deemed abandoned. A wide sweep of the area is now underway.
When asked by reporters how they knew the discovered body was that of Jason Eldrich, The Sheriffs spokesperson said, "His left arm had two very distinctive tattoo's. We found that left arm."
Results of the autopsy are expected soon. Among other things, Eldrich's body is being tested for 'necro-mortosis.'