| Local
farmers:
The missing undead were apparently found by local farmers, who apprehended
them and called police. ZWN obtained an exclusive interview with one
on the farm hands. According Chris "Smitty" Smith, owner of
the ranch where the two reanimates where rekilled, he and three of his
farm hands who found the undead "We were finding lots of cows with
small bites and tears their hindquarters and thought there might be
some coyotes loose. So, Carlos, Franky, Sam and me decide to ride out
in the truck early in the morning to see if we could get some shots
off at them."
Farm hand
Frankie Anderson saw the first undead shortly after day
break, "We were driving around for a long time and out of nowhere,
I see some guy just standing out there in the middle of the field. Sometimes
migrants get lost in the desert and come wandering into town half dead,
so we drove over there to see what was going on."
Tried
to help:
"We got close and Smitty got out of the truck with some water and
asked the guy who he was. I could tell there was something wrong with
him right off. He was all skinny and sunburned and not even looking
at us. He just stood there mouth hanging open. Vacant look. I thought
he might have sun stroke or be dehydrated. Carlos even tried speaking
Spanish to him, but he just stood there.
"So, Smitty
thinks the guy is just about dead, so he goes and grabs
his shoulder and pours water on his face. Then, wouldn't you know it,
the guy grabs hold of Smitty and tries to bite him!
"I
jumped out of the truck and gave the guy a kick to the hind side to
straighten him up and he just fell right over with his legs still
moving. He kept right on walking even though his legs weren't
touching the ground. Like a wind up toy. Oddest thing I ever saw."
"That's
when we realized this guy must be one of those Necro's
out of
that ranch in New Mexico who got away," said Smith. "Now,
I'm all
worked up thinking there are a bunch of zombie cows running around the
farm looking to take a bite out of the next hand that tries to milk
it, when Carlos says we should go and let the sheriff know about it.
"I thought we could just leave the thing where it was since all
it was
doing was spinning in a circle in the dirt, and Carlos thought we
could tie it to a stump. But, Sam's got religion and he started going
on about how God judges you by how you treat 'the least of his
people,' and such, and 'how would we feel if we got turned into
zombies and some good old boys were standing around laughing at you,'
and got us all feeling guilty. So, we argued about it for a bit, and
decided to take the thing back to town after Franky shot it, since he
was the one who said he didn't want to ride in the back of the truck
with it and started the whole argument anyhow."
Carlos Martinez sighted
the second "Necro-Mortosis" victim, "After
Franky killed the zombie, we took the long way back home because
Smitty wanted to see if there where any zombie cows running around,
and wouldn't you know it, sure as anything we find another zombie.
This one was already dead, though. Looked like he got into a tangle
with one of the bulls and was just all stomped up. We just stopped,
tossed him in the back of the truck with the other dead zombie and
Franky and drove back to town."
Quarantine:
The Albuquerque Police Department immediately quarantined the rekilled
Undead cadavers and the four men upon their arrival at the Avenue B
Police Station and contacted the New Mexico Department on Homeland Security
who dispatched six specially trained HAZMAT units to the scene with
investigators from the Mortosis Division of the Department of
Public Safety.
At this morning's press conference, Governor Perry urged
calm, "We
believe this is an isolated incident and not an actual outbreak of the
virus. Both victims preliminarily appear to be of South American decent
and
show post mortem indications of confinement. This leads us to believe
that source of the Reanimates is the recently raided "Zombie
Farm"
in New Mexico. Due to the remoteness of the
surrounding terrain, any contact between these specimens and the
general population is very improbable.
"All
quarantines and alerts are a precautionary measure, and will be
lifted as soon as all local cattle are tested for contamination. Let
me stress, there is no risk of the "Necro-Mortosis" virus
reanimating
livestock. When infected, animals become sick and die. Reanimation
from the Necro-Mortosis virus is unique
to human beings."
Preliminary autopsy reports indicate the two Undead
cadavers were in
an "extremely advanced state of decay," and "were at
least reanimated
for the past 80 to 85 days." According to Dr. Doug Wells of Austin
College, "This would have put the Necros at the very limit of their
functional lives, so to speak. You can expect a reanimated human
being to function for an eight to twelve week period. After that
point, decay makes further movement impossible and the zombie quickly
dies.
"It is entirely likely the reanimate Mr. Smith
and his friends
encountered could neither see not hear the men approach, and was only
alerted to their presence by the direct physical contact with Mr.
Smith. At this advanced state, the Undead pose little threat to the
population, and contact with the infected's bodily fluids poses more
of an infection risk than an actual attack."
Fortunately, none of the four men who captured the Necros
contracted
the Undead virus during their close contact with the Reanimates.
However, three of Mr. Smith's cattle tested positive for the
"Necro-Mortosis" virus, and as a result, his herd will be
quarantined
and eventually destroyed to prevent any risk of the virus entering the
food supply.
All beef
and milk shipments from the immediate area has been suspended until
further notice.
|
