Amid
much fanfare, President Bush, along with Florida Governor Charlie
Crist, and Miami Mayor Cory Schlader, announced the beginning of Operation
"Rest in Peace" from the Rose Garden at the White House
early this afternoon. According to the three, the purpose of Operation
Rest in Peace is to "completely rid the greater Miami area of
the presence of the Undead and usher in the end of the 'Necro-Mortosis'
quarantine that has been imposed on the City since September."
Mayor
Schalder, recently released from Mortosis quarantine himself after
a brush with the Undead during a live
television broadcast, praised President Bush and Governor Crist
for "their unwavering support for the people of Miami,"
and "strong leadership through this troubled time." He then
raised his arms and shouted, "Greater Miami
residents will celebrate Christmas at home," to the applause
of several hundred assembled Miami area civic leaders and dignitaries.
Elite
force:
According to President Bush, Operation Rest in Peace will be spearheaded
by elements of the 82nd and 101st Airborne Divisions supported by
the Florida National Guard and would commence within the next 24 hours.
Along with the active military troops will
be a newly declassified brigade of elite special forces soldiers,
specifically trained and equipped for combating the Undead in urban
settings.
The operation
will consist of a house by house search of all buildings in all areas
not
previously certified as "pacified" by the National Guard
and Miami Police, including a
"systematic and detailed sweep of all subway and sewer tunnels."
Any remaining
residents will be evacuated, by force if necessary, and any reanimated
persons
encountered "will be eliminated on sight." The operation
is expected to last for ten
days and will involve a combined force of over 20,000 regular Army
and National
Guard soldiers and civilian police.
UDR
unveiled:
At an unusually large Pentagon press briefing held late this
afternoon, Major General
Howard Tilly unveiled the US military's new "Undead Defense Regiment
(UDR) " informally known as "Undertakers," who will
play a major role in the operation, complete with a fully armed and
equipped member of the team.
According
to Tilly, an 'Undertaker' represents the highest level of military
training and
equipment in the US, "The Sergeant at your left is wearing a
specially fabricated
Kevlar body armor designed to protect the soldier's extremities and
body mass from
any Undead attack, particularly in the head, hands, feet and neck,
while still permitting maximum mobility."
In addition
to the soldier's armor, he will be equipped "with a full compliment
of traditional and non traditional weaponry. Along with the standard
issue M-16a combat rifle and 9mm. sidearm, the Undertaker carries
an array of blunt force weapons for use in close quarters combat with
the Undead, particularly in situations where firearms could endanger
the lives of civilians."
Tilly
further stated that civilian protection is the primary mission of
the soldier, "We
fully understand that the UDR could be fighting the Undead among a
population of
uninfected civilian noncombatants. In these situations, the use of
explosives and
firearms could easily lead to a panic that would endanger the lives
of men, women,
and children. We also understand the stresses of combat have made
friendly fire
incidents unacceptably common in Mortosis suppression operations around
the globe.
There are many times the soldier on the ground simply cannot tell
the difference
between a reanimate and a living human being."
Sonic
emitter:
"These concerns and realities have led to the most impressive
addition to the UDR brigades arsenal; a non-lethal sonic emitter.
This device uses sound waves transmitted from a small speaker, of
sorts, mounted to the soldier's back. These sound waves, emitted at
high frequencies, cause an instant reaction to all living people within
a specific area. While these sound waves will cause no permanent damage,
they will generate enough discomfort to force people without ear protection
to stop moving and cover their ears, and in many cases fall to the
ground. Since high frequency sound does not effect the Undead, the
use of this valuable tool will make a soldier's ability to identify
a reanimate in a combat situation much more effective."
