
| ZombieWorldNews.com |
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| "Zombie
Rage" Leaves One Dead, Two Wounded in Philadelphia |
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Earlier
today, Gun shots rang out just block from Philadelphia's historic Liberty
Bell. Marketing executive, Pete Hester, was returning to his office around 10:00 am this morning, following a business appointment. It was a local meeting, and so rather than deal with busy morning traffic, Hester decided to walk. On route he heard terrified screams for help emanating from a side alley along Race Street. Hester immediately went to assist. According to an eye witness's account, Hester saw a lone woman, Maria Crantz being accosted by "a shabbily dressed white male with long gray hair " who had apparently been hiding in a side alley The victim began screaming "Just then, someone just started shooting!" says local newspaper stand owner, Russ Mitchel. "Everyone started running and screaming. Then someone yelled 'Zombie', someone just killed a zombie." |
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City Center police, Rescue and the newly formed 'UDT' Undead Dispatch Team were dispatched to the scene in minutes. There they found one fatality. A homeless man, (name withheld pending the notification of next of kin,) shot once in the head. Two others were wounded in the attack,one, the victim of the homeless man's attack, Maria Crantz, who was shot in the left arm. and also a 45 year old man. Both victims were briefly quarantined, treated and released a from local hospital. Despite her injury,
Crantz calls Hester a hero."If the lunatic that attacked me wasn't
a zombie, I don't know what one is. He stank, had his clothes rotting
off his body, and didn't do anything but moan and grab at me." |
![]() A Police UDT (Undead Dispatch Team) in Philadelphia today. |
| The
deceased tested negative for the 'Necro-Mortosis,'
or "Undead Virus," but positive for a blood alcohol level
of .23, and the presence of amphetamines in his blood stream. Some are not so willing to condemn Hester's actions. Bill Rutledge, local resident and witness to today's incident said he thought the government was coving up a real undead incident. "That dead guy tried the same thing on me three nights ago when I was coming home from the store. Scared me so bad, I dropped my whole bag of groceries and ran. I looked back around the corner and saw that bastard walking off with a full bag of my groceries." Quarantine
for four city blocks. In an official
release, The Mayor's Office called today's response "a victory"
and "vindication" of Philadelphia disaster preparedness. "If
this had been an actual outbreak of the undead inducing virus that has
so ravaged Haiti and other parts of the world, the Mayor feels confident
that it would have been quickly contained without any disruption to
public life."
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