Zombie suppression #2 - ZombieWorldNews.com

Part two of a special ZWN report on the multi-billion dollar growth industry of Zombie suppression.
Last week we looked at the growing trend in home protection - 'Fortress Communities.' This week I wanted to spotlight a few of the hundreds of products and services available in the name of Zombie defense. I will review them and then give them a ZWN rating of 1 - 5 (five being the best recommendation). Winners. Losers. and snake oil
1. Vaccines, cures and inhibitors: According to the World Health Authority, there are no current vaccines, miracle cures, (pharmaceutical, herbal or otherwise) that will stem the Necro-mortosis virus. Despite the encouraging news released last week regarding the test drug XL6. any cure could be months or years away. This has not stemmed the proliferation of pills, tablets and medicines being touted as the next miracle cure on the internet. Save your money and save the heartache of false hope with these scams. They simply do not work. RATING: 0 OUT OF 5
2. 'Safe Lock' Body Bag Interesting one this. The manufacturer claims that this body bag will not only seal the corpse for collection, but it will also 'restrain your loved one' if they animate before being picked up. The bag is made of a superior poly carbonate resin weaving. This will prevent the deceased from escaping and becoming a danger. It also has a small see through panel. So the medics or other collection agency can check that the person is indeed in a state of 'rest or reanimation'. (However, I would have thought that would be apparent by the moaning and kicking of the undead). Regardless, it retails for a hefty $124.99. and is available from most hardware supply stores. RATING: 4 OUT OF 5
3. 'Zom-B-Gone' Pepper spray You just knew this one was coming didn't you? Considering that zombies don't retain there central nervous system, I decided to ask ZWN's own resident Zombie Hunter - Captain Hawk what he thought of this one. He said "About as useless as kicking it in the bollocks." Succinct, but I couldn't have put it better myself. $12.99 import from Germany. RATING: 0 OUT OF 5
4. Zombie Squad TM Yes, I saved the best until last. These dedicated individuals will pack a mighty punch to any undead unfortunate to be in their elimination zone. This is a highly organized, ultra effective tour de force. ZWN's Captain Hawk and Big Al swear by these guys. They will not only clear an area of Zombie infiltration, they also offer seminars on zombie survival and do great charity work. Their numbers are spreading throughout the USA so check them our at http://zombiehunters.org/ RATING: 5 OUT OF 5
So that is this weeks round up of products and services available in today's growing Zombie suppression market. If you know of any interesting additions that I should review, please contact me at newsdesk@zombieworldnews.com Copyright 2007 ZombieWorldNews.com. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

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