Our 'Zombie Hunters' column is written by decorated British ex SAS (Special Air Service) Captain 'Hawk' Heath. His expertise in the field of Zombie suppression and extermination are becoming legendary in this nascent field of operation. Since leaving the SAS, 'Hawk' has teamed with fellow Zombie exterminator and ex US Navy Seal, 'Big Al' Powner. Together they supply their talents as mercenaries. And have become the recognized authorities to turn to when you need to 'clean house.'
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Which HEAD GEAR to
wear before a 'necro' hunt?

(The following information could save your life.)

Full face
motorcycle helmet
Partial face
motorcycle helmet
Grid face helmet

4/5

4/5
2/5

Pros: Excellent full head protection from attack and blood spray.

Cons: Muffled hearing. Visor will not lock down

Pros: Good side and rear of head protection from bites

Cons: Muffled hearing. . Eyes and mouth unprotected. Must wear eye protection also

Pros: Excellent full face protection from attack.

Cons: Muffled hearing. Eyes and mouth unprotected. Must wear eye protection also

'Shorty' motorcycle helmet
Hockey Goalie mask
Skull face, dirt bike mask
***** 5/5

** 2/5

* 1/5

Pros: Excellent head protection from blows

Cons: Eyes and mouth unprotected. Must wear eye and mouth protection.

Pros: Good frontal face protection. Easy to clean

Cons: Eyes unprotected. . Rear of head exposed.

Pros: Looks impressive.

Cons: You can be mistaken for a zombie and shot.

Motorcycle goggles
Swimming goggles
Safety goggles

***** 5/5

***** 5/5

*** 3/5

Pros: Excellent protection from blood spray. Light weight and comfortable. Easy to clean

Cons: Do not get chrome reflective ones. They can reflect light and give away your position.

Pros: Excellent protection from blood spray. Light weight and comfortable. Easy to clean

Cons: Uncomfortable

Pros: Excellent protection from blood spray. Easy to clean

Cons: Holes on sides can be point of entry for blood spray

Ski mask
Spray mask
Face shield
***** 5/5
**** 4/5
* 1/5

Pros: Excellent protection from blood spray. Easy to clean

Cons: Most are chrome reflective. They can reflect light and give away your position. Very darkly tinted ones will be unwearable at night.

Pros: Excellent protection from blood and matter spray. Light weight and comfortable. Disposable.

Cons: Elastic will break when tugged

Pros: Excellent protection from blood and matter spray.

Cons: No rear of head protection. Will fall off in a struggle.

Balaclava
Bicycle helmet
And the winner is......PAINTBALL MASK
***** 5/5
** 2/5
***** 5/5 +++++

Pros: Good protection from blood spray. Light weight and comfortable. Washable.

Cons: Must wear eye protection also

Pros: Good head protection. Light weight and comfortable.

Cons: Can easily be pulled off in a struggle

Pros: This is the business! Good protection from blood and matter spray. Should wear with cloth covering over mask (Pictured with MARPAT) for complete protection

Cons: Must wear helmet for back of head protection

ALWAYS wash, bleach or burn clothing after each slaying.
ALWAYS scrub your equipment clean.
ALWAYS protect eyes, ears, mouth, open wounds from exposure.

This site is for entertainment purposes only. All stories and events are fictional. Apart from the occasional satirizing of world leaders, any other similarities with persons either living or deceased in purely coincidental. Contents of this site are copyrighted. All rights reserved.
 
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