Our 'Zombie Hunters' column is written by decorated British ex SAS (Special Air Service) Captain 'Hawk' Heath. His expertise in the field of Zombie suppression and extermination are becoming legendary in this nascent field of operation. Since leaving the SAS, 'Hawk' has teamed with fellow Zombie exterminator and ex US Navy Seal, 'Big Al' Powner. Together they supply their talents as mercenaries. And have become the recognized authorities to turn to when you need to 'clean the house of Necro's.'


Venom - Zombie Hunting
Texas Style

Posted: 10/30/09


Stonecolds - Shadow Company.
Rep. of Ireland

Posted: 10/25/09


Mr. Grinder and 'The Firm'
Great Britain

Posted: 11/21/09


Fantasma - 'The Ghost'
Italy

Posted: 9/1/10


'Red'
Japan

Posted: 5/15/10


 



'Big Al's' alternative approach
to Zombie eradication

Use or loose your brains
Posted: 9/019/09

Captain 'Hawk' and 'Big Al' return
We're back
Posted: 9/01/09

Get in and out quick
Store raiders

Going on a 'Necro' hunt?
Which headgear to wear?

Top 10 ways to kill a Necro
Top Ten List

Reader report on Zombie Hunters who get in way over their heads
Kosova Hunt Posted: 2/23/08

Reader shares their first Zombie Hunter operation
US/Mexico border Posted: 6/01/08

I'm not the greatest skier. I'll admit it
Taking The Piste

“Fighting zombies is like any other military operation."
Exclusive Interview with
Maj. Wilber Richards (Rtd.)

Does it get easier after a while, killing Zombies?"
What's in a name?


Aluminum Sign


Metal sign 12" x 18"
Availa
ble here

www.hu
mperbumper.com


The 'Zombie Hunter' T-Shirt


T-Shirt $14.99
Available
here
www.hu
mperbumper.com

 

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This site is for entertainment purposes only. All stories and events are fictional. Any similarities with persons either living or deceased in purely coincidental. There is occasional satirizing of prominent public figures. Contents of this site are copyrighted. All rights reserved.


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If you suspect anyone of showing sympoms of the 'Necro- Mortosis' Virus, the Government has released the following anonymous tip line.
1 800 155 3219


Which HEAD GEAR to
wear before a 'necro' hunt?

(The following information could save your life.)

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Full face
motorcycle helmet
Partial face
motorcycle helmet
Grid face helmet

4/5

4/5
2/5

Pros: Excellent full head protection from attack and blood spray.

Cons: Muffled hearing. Visor will not lock down

Pros: Good side and rear of head protection from bites

Cons: Muffled hearing. . Eyes and mouth unprotected. Must wear eye protection also

Pros: Excellent full face protection from attack.

Cons: Muffled hearing. Eyes and mouth unprotected. Must wear eye protection also

'Shorty' motorcycle helmet
Hockey Goalie mask
Skull face, dirt bike mask
***** 5/5

** 2/5

* 1/5

Pros: Excellent head protection from blows

Cons: Eyes and mouth unprotected. Must wear eye and mouth protection.

Pros: Good frontal face protection. Easy to clean

Cons: Eyes unprotected. . Rear of head exposed.

Pros: Looks impressive.

Cons: You can be mistaken for a zombie and shot.

Motorcycle goggles
Swimming goggles
Safety goggles

***** 5/5

***** 5/5

*** 3/5

Pros: Excellent protection from blood spray. Light weight and comfortable. Easy to clean

Cons: Do not get chrome reflective ones. They can reflect light and give away your position.

Pros: Excellent protection from blood spray. Light weight and comfortable. Easy to clean

Cons: Uncomfortable

Pros: Excellent protection from blood spray. Easy to clean

Cons: Holes on sides can be point of entry for blood spray

Ski mask
Spray mask
Face shield
***** 5/5
**** 4/5
* 1/5

Pros: Excellent protection from blood spray. Easy to clean

Cons: Most are chrome reflective. They can reflect light and give away your position. Very darkly tinted ones will be unwearable at night.

Pros: Excellent protection from blood and matter spray. Light weight and comfortable. Disposable.

Cons: Elastic will break when tugged

Pros: Excellent protection from blood and matter spray.

Cons: No rear of head protection. Will fall off in a struggle.

Balaclava
Bicycle helmet
And the winner is......PAINTBALL MASK
***** 5/5
** 2/5
***** 5/5 +++++

Pros: Good protection from blood spray. Light weight and comfortable. Washable.

Cons: Must wear eye protection also

Pros: Good head protection. Light weight and comfortable.

Cons: Can easily be pulled off in a struggle

Pros: This is the business! Good protection from blood and matter spray. Should wear with cloth covering over mask (Pictured with MARPAT) for complete protection

Cons: Must wear helmet for back of head protection

ALWAYS wash, bleach or burn clothing after each slaying.
ALWAYS scrub your equipment clean.
ALWAYS protect eyes, ears, mouth, open wounds from exposure.